A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around the shops in a pram. Each time she put something in the basket she said “And here’s something for you Diploma” and “there’s something for you Diploma”. And this carried on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who’d heard all this finally asked “Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?”
Replied the grandmother, “I sent my daughter to university and this is what she came home with!”